A God Story
by: UBFM Member
I am most
passionate about my son growing up loving who he is. I want him to know that
God created him in such a unique way and at such a unique time, that he can do
all things. Today, I am active and self-sustaining, with one of the greatest
titles of all: Mom. I am so very thankful and hope my experience can one day
inspire him as much as he has already inspired me.
I
thank my God every time I remember you.
Philippians 1:3
When I
was eighteen and in the middle of my one and only semester of college, I
naively left home due to a disagreement between my father and myself. I refused
to conform to an arranged life and religion, much like any rebellious and
heard-headed kid might experience, but in the end my heart was broken. I felt
banished, alone, and very much ready to completely let go of eighteen years. I
was not meant to return home, nor to college, so instead, I became quite the
waif, couch surfing, discovering new faces, new ways of living, and new ends to
new worlds. Between 2008 and 2011, I had lived in and escaped from four
different states and eighteen living arrangements. The void still remained as
“home.” Always between jobs, I encountered new drama in every move, within each
family, roommate, friend, friend of friends, and stranger I found myself living
with. After years of feeling lost and alone, abusing myself, neglecting
whatever grace and integrity I had left, a new chapter in my life began when I
found out I was going to be a mother.
After what
seemed like a lifetime away, my family and I reconnected. It is almost as if my
parents and I were finally alike, on the same page. We had something in common
now and that was the love for our children. It indeed brought us closer than we
have ever been. This life gave me purpose, meaning, and love. Because of my
son, who saved my life, and became the roots to keep me planted, growing, and
prospering, I walked a path that brought me back to grace, and opened my eyes
to individuals who live for the glory of God, who are good, and who share their
love with a world that always has the potential to stay bright on the darkest
day. There was a time when I felt let down and abandoned by what I thought God
represented. He is the Father I thought I was fighting for my independence
from, that I was fleeing from, and how I felt so rejected by. I opened my arms
to my son on January 31, 2012. My parents opened their arms to me not long
before as if there was never any gap in time. And God’s arms were always open;
waiting for me to understand the kind of love He has for all of His
children.
